Friday, July 01, 2011

31 Days in Seuss, Day 1: My Job

I'm beginning a new Challenge today, called 31 Days in Seuss. I'll be taking some element of my life each day and describing it in verse like the children's author Dr. Seuss. I have to admit that I'm not entirely confident I'm going to be able to do this for the whole month of July, but we'll give it a shot and see how it goes.

For the first day, I'm supposed to describe "My Job." As readers of this blog already know, I'm a professor of Philosophy at a small liberal arts college in Memphis. I always find it difficult to explain what I do to other people, so perhaps trying it in Suess will be a bit of an advantage. I mean, as far as I can tell, when I talk about Philosophy to other people it sounds a lot like Seuss-ese anyway.

So here it is, in Seuss:

MY JOB
One Who, two Who, three Who, four
A Little Who for each year, every year, sometimes more
The Big Whos leave them here, just an unprepared corps
To meet Great Whos of Whomanity and settle the score

I work at the Who-House. I meet Whos in great number
Eager and restless, imaginations unencumbered
I teach them Who thoughts and Who history and Who news
And how to read, write and talk like smart Little Whos

We struggle through annals of Who Life and such
And I hear their Who drama a little too much

In time, they are able to manage Who tussles
They begin to develop impressive Who muscles
They stumble, they falter, they beg and they plead
But they pick themselves up, brush off their Who knees
They learn the Who-House is a temporary stay
For Whomanity awaits! They musn't delay!
The Who-Doctors, like me, who have watered and fed them
Must some day, regrettably, cut loose and shed them

Eventually, the day comes when Little Whos have grown
And we Who-Doctors confirm what was already known
They had untapped Whomanity in them all along
And they now know the difference between Who Right and Who Wrong
So we send them off to the world of Whos great and small
To find and to answer their special Who-call

We return to the Who-House, more Little Whos in waiting
For the training of Whos is a task unabating
But each Little Who is a Future Who needed
To tend the lawn of Whomanity, which must be constantly weeded.
So the Who-Skills are taught and tested and graded
Quite often with love (those Little Whos get jaded!)
All the Big Whos in Who-Land depend on us dearly
To make Little Whos who can think and speak clearly
Of philosophy and life and the goods of Whomanity
To save us all from the nonsense of Fox-Whos insanity.

As a Who-Doctor, I confess, I love what I do
Even when charged with corralling bad Little Whos
So it takes no Who-effort to make this confession:
Mine is the best of the best of the best Who-Professions.

1 comment:

Kyle Ference said...

Wow. This is awesome.